Many people work hard to climb the professional ladder and achieve a level of success only to find themselves at or near the top feeling a sense of accomplishment, for sure, but also experiencing a profound sense of isolation and loneliness.
Being the boss may not be all you thought it would be. “It’s lonely at the top,” is a saying based on truth.
A leader, business owner, or executive may find themselves not knowing how to navigate the unfamiliar role and relationships that go with it. This is where a solid grasp of emotional intelligence and an awareness of brain basics can empower leaders to help them stay mentally and emotionally healthy so that loneliness doesn’t negatively impact their careers, organizations, and lives.
Loneliness Is a Real Health Issue
According to research, loneliness can adversely impact your health to the degree that high blood pressure, lack of exercise, obesity, or smoking does. One meta-analysis found that being lonely is linked to a significantly higher risk of death. Scientists discovered that lonely people had a 50 percent increased risk of early death, compared to those with good social connections. In contrast, obesity raises the chance of dying before the age of 70 by around 30 percent.
Humans are social animals who need contact with other people. Your brain needs it. Your brain interprets the social threat of loneliness as seriously as a physical threat. Feeling isolated and lonely causes your brain to sound the alarm and can put it in a state of low-grade chronic stress resulting in negative physical and mental consequences.
Research suggests that educational, state, business, and organizational leaders endure high amounts of stress, alienation, loneliness, and emotional turmoil in their jobs which can lead to health problems and negatively affect social and familial relationships.
Why Leaders Feel Lonely
The causes of loneliness in leadership positions are multifaceted and complex. A study by KPMG in 2020 identified several factors contributing to loneliness in CEOs, including the isolation of leadership, the pressure to appear strong and decisive, the lack of people to confide in, and the absence of a sounding board. People in leadership roles experience conditions that naturally lead to being socially isolated, such as:
- Unclear social norms and boundaries.
- Fewer peers in the company and outside of it.
- Physical and social distance from former work friends.
- The need to keep business and personal separate.
- Not being able to discuss confidential matters.
A survey by RHR International found that half of CEOs experience feelings of loneliness in their careers, 61 percent of whom believe that this feeling hinders their performance. Additionally, a 2018 study published in the Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies concluded that senior managers are lonelier inside and outside of work because of the demands of their roles. This is especially true for executives like CEOs, who have no true peers at work.
Why It Matters
Addressing leader isolation and mental well-being might not seem important but it is because it can impact the whole company. A lonely leader may struggle to create a healthy work environment where individuals and teams can thrive and do their best work. An unhappy, stressed-out, and isolated leader could have a negative impact on the whole company.
Research shows that loneliness can be contagious. A workplace full of people who feel isolated or lonely is not optimal for health, well-being, or success. Even if the loneliness doesn’t spread, people who are lonely tend to self-isolate over time. When a leader isolates themselves, communication and trust between the leader and team could become strained which makes cooperation, coordination, and reaching goals challenging.
How to Overcome Leadership Loneliness
Fortunately, there are several strategies that leaders can utilize to combat a sense of isolation and loneliness, which can improve their mental health and well-being and, in turn, make them better leaders, positively impacting others and their organizations.
Build a supportive team
A leader’s role often means offering support rather than being on the receiving end. Upper executives often have a limited number of places where they can turn to get support to work. And they may report to the busiest person in the company: the CEO. Typically, conversations with their boss are going to revolve around critical business matters — not morale-building, personal encouragement, or support.
Leaders have little built-in support in their roles. So, they have to intentionally build a sense of community within their own organizations by fostering an environment of open communication and support. They have to model what they would like to receive by encouraging team members to share their ideas and opinions openly, free from criticism or repercussions. This atmosphere can create a sense of trust and camaraderie and reduce feelings of isolation for all.
Connect with peers
Networking with other leaders in the industry can provide a valuable source of support and advice. Attending conferences, joining industry associations, or participating in leadership groups can help foster connections and build a sense of community.
Peers at the upper levels of organizations may be difficult to locate. Some people may find peers outside their organization or have a friend in a comparable role in a non-competitive organization. For those who don’t have such friends, professional peer groups and organizations can be found nationally and locally, online and in-person. Such groups provide a confidential place for leaders to learn, share, interact, and get support. Groups typically do not allow multiple people from the same organization.
Increase your support system outside of work
Just like anybody else, leaders need to be able to talk about their personal lives, emotions, intimate fears, concerns, struggles, and failures with someone. A natural confidant of many executives is a spouse or life partner. A good marriage, a caring partner, and open communication can provide the type of setting a leader needs to unload, share, and receive feedback from a supportive friend.
If feelings of loneliness persist or become overwhelming, it can be beneficial to seek the help of a mental health professional. Therapists and counselors can offer strategies for managing stress, improving communication, and coping with challenging emotions or personal situations.
Seek out a mentor or coach
If a leader does not have a partner or personal friend to confide in a mentor or an executive coach who can offer guidance and support can be invaluable. A professional coach can be a sounding board, provide a fresh perspective, and assist leaders in planning and navigating complex situations. The powerful support of a coach can really make a positive difference because they are trained in listening and are a safe and confidential place where you can just be yourself, professionally and personally. Their entire job is to offer support, guidance, and feedback with your well-being as the priority.
Practice self-care
It’s important for leaders to take care of their physical and mental health. There are many kinds of self-care, but in this instance, it refers to the activities and practices that you deliberately choose to engage in on a regular basis to maintain and enhance your health and well-being. This can include getting regular exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, taking breaks when needed, socializing with friends, setting boundaries, extending compassion to yourself and others, getting enough sleep, eating healthy food to nourish your body, etc.
Self-care is not only necessary for your ongoing physical and mental health, but it also helps you become a more successful leader. Science shows that practicing self-care makes you a better leader. It’s hard to provide strong, effective, compassionate leadership for others when you’re running low on energy, motivation, or mood yourself.
In Stress and Its Relationship to Leadership and a Healthy Workplace Culture, the researchers write,
“If a leader experiences stress, neurotransmitters and hormones are released and the leader may experience a short period of increased focus and reaction time. But if the stress exists for a long enough period of time, there will be negative consequences. Characteristics of these negative behaviors include (a) lack of listening, (b) over-analysis, (c) failure to make decisions, and (d) erratic, fearful, or angry emotional decisions.”
Conclusion
Leadership loneliness can have a profound impact on a person’s mental and physical health, job performance, relationships, and life satisfaction. It can also trickle down in ways that impact the entire company and work culture. But it doesn’t have to be lonely at the top. There are definite steps you can take to make your brain happier and ensure that you and your company are more successful.
Omozua Isiramen is the #1 Neuroscience Coach and Peak Performance Specialist in Luxembourg
Leave a Reply